We all have pet peeves. I have expressed a few of mine here. I’m sure I have mentioned before that I have a hard time letting go of people who do not deserve to be in my life. But there is one quick way to expedite this process, and that is, playing me in public.
What do I mean by this? I am not saying I can’t handle being the butt of a joke. I am down for a good roast. I am talking about when your friends, family, or a partner bring their personal issues with you to a public forum. I have never lived down south, but I am a big fan of their idea that private matters should remain private matters. And no matter how much I cannot stand you, we will be a reunited front in public and cuss each other all the way out when we get behind closed doors. I use to whisper to my ex “unite” if I ever noticed him getting besides himself with me while out. It was our password to let the other person know. Only I ever used it. He usually disregarded me. Reason number 150,654 why we are not together.
Even if we are not a united front, I will just tolerate you. In high school I went to lunch with the same girls everyday. They were my little group of friends. I got into a fight with one of the girls and I still went to lunch everyday with this girl. We did not speak one word to each other unless it was “excuse me” We talked around each other in group conversations. We had one person stand in between us. All petty, I know. But we didn’t smear each other for the world to see. We merely avoided each other until we could resolve our issues. I feel that is more honorable.
I do not understand the need to embarrass someone to prove a point. We can possibly overcome our issue, but what we cannot overcome is you thinking its ok to air my/your/our dirty laundry. It is just tacky to me and if that’s what you enjoy then we are not compatible and were never meant to be long term in each other’s life anyway. I like my privacy. I understand how trivial it sounds to say I won’t make up with a person because they played me in public, and yes there are exceptions to this rule, but think about it. Once someone is willing to openly belittle you it really shows how much he or she respects you. It tells you your value in their life. It is no longer something you have to ponder on. It is made loud and clear, and I listen!!
Now prior to the internet surge playing people in public was a little harder to do or rather, more forgivable. I don’t need to go in depth about how the internet and social media has changed the way we interact. We all are aware and either we succumb, or fight while succumbing. I envy the people who have no social media accounts. Those who are not controlled by likes, retweets, comments, and the surge of pointless information that gives you peeks into others’ lives. You are lying if you have never indulged in reading some good social media gossip. Or stalked a page to find out if they were still together. It’s like crack!! I have found small ways to gain control, but still I am victim. The benefits of social media is undeniable, but now incidents are no longer a single moment in time.
Random story: There was this girl I was close friends with, at the time, in college and we decided to go to a conference together. We were so excited to have each other on the trip because we were terribly petty girls (worse than I am now) and hated everyone. So we arrive at the conference and the next morning we wake up to start the first full day of activities. It’s early and we are all still a little groggy. We are waiting for the shuttle to pick us up and I am sitting in a chair. My friend joins me by sitting on the arm of the chair. Eventually a guy friend of ours who also attended the conference comes and sits on the other arm of the chair. The two begin to play fight over and in front of me. In the process I get hit in the eye. Not a soft hit. I like to believe I am tough. It was a hard hit!! My eye really hurt. Plus it was my eye!! Like I need that!! I felt like I was in a Christmas Story “ You put your eye out!!” I was annoyed, but would have been soothed with an apology. So I said, “ That really hurt. Someone needs to say sorry.” Both laughed, pointed fingers at the other, and claimed it wasn’t them it was the other. They showed complete disregard to the fact that I was injured. I was literally holding my eye (ok I digress. You get it lol). I asked them one more time, calmly, and received the same reply. Fed up and looking for retribution, I preceded to slap my friend. It was a good slap too. I made sure of it 😉 She was in complete awe and shock and demanded answers and I coolly told her it was because I got hit and no one wanted to say sorry. I now felt redeemed. Yes, I know that was a crazy thing for me to do. I was like 21!!! Forgive me!! But I tell you all this because we didn’t speak the rest of the trip, which sucked because the conference had just started and she was my buddy, and we returned to campus still not speaking. Upon return, a bunch of people came up to me who were not even on the trip and said, I heard you beat up so and so. I told everyone I had no idea what they were talking about and demanded to know the source of information. I was still annoyed with my friend and not speaking to her, but I refused to use this opportunity to get some false glory and relish in the satisfaction that I could lick my wounds by getting others to laugh at her because my feelings were hurt for a second. The friendship was worth more than that. We made up (the friendship didn’t last lol) and the thing was distant memory. Your Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Twitter, and the internet in general has ruined alllllllllllllllll of that.
Your best friend for 45 years step on your foot too hard and doesn’t say sorry and you are blasting her on every site you can find, calling them every unholy name you can think of and them posting a picture of y’all smiling two hours later. I don’t have time for it!! That post is lost in cyber world forever!! Forever to be replayed and reread. Even if you delete it a bunch of people saw it already and screenshotted it for proof. Ya’ll screenshot is the devil!!!! I will write a whole other post on that.
The great Childish Gambino once said, “Because the internet, mistakes are forever, but if we fuck up on this journey at least we’re together.” Now I don’t know about the together part in this context but its forever!!. You don’t even have to say my name. If I know you are alluding to me when you make your rant, I am over you. Just that fast. It’s like an instant cure. You want to tell me off? Tell me off or go get a journal for goodness sake, but you will not put me on blast for the world to see and comment on so y’all can commiserate together. So, I am supposed to sit and let others comment on me too?? Let fools egg you on if you want. We are all familiar with liquid courage, but now we have browser courage too. At least before you had the excuse of being drunk. There is no excuse here!!
What kills me is when people who are in relationships, who fall out every ten seconds, and in those ten seconds find a way to flirt with everyone they can and demean your relationship. I swear I will start a journal business as a side hustle if y’all will cut it out. If you know you enjoy tumultuous relationships (raises hand) wait before you press send. Shoot, wait before doing anything stupid to someone you majority of the time enjoy. Does the illusion of being tough or wanted mean that much to you? I sometimes just want to troll social media and demand they take stuff down to save relationships. Allowing others access to your holes is basically asking for demise.
Here’s the thing, people only do this to people they feel they can disrespect. I’ve watched people do worst things then me to a friend and that same friend not say a peep to them. We innately put people on a pedestal. So now I know your true feelings without getting a signed confession. I know sometimes people get a head of themselves and I have softly whispered to friends “Chill out, don’t play me in public.” The moral is watch how people treat you in strenuous situations because it’s very telling. Teach people how to treat you! Those who go out their way to make you feel less than are not worth it. But if you are tired of me, go right ahead play me out. I promise things will never be the same or I will completely disappear on a however many year friend/relationship. I get that technology is now our second language, but don’t forget your first. Communicate. Respect me if you want me around long term. It will be hard. I will miss you, but I will leave. And if the public is so important to you, be willing to publicly apologize too. That, only sweet to me in private, gets old. Get out your feelings and talk to your loved ones before the damage is irreparable. Demeaning, belittling, and blatant disrespect are the ultimate no no’s is my book. Add the public and watch me quickly walk away. We all enjoy some good gossip, but frankly, I don’t want to be the one everyone’s reading about. Internet ganstas are lame!! Don’t play me in public!!
Peace
Petty Patty
Petty Patty's Rants and Insights 